I feel like the word adult is thrown around so casually day-to-day, but have the ideals of what it is to be an adult changed from our parent’s generation? I remember turning eighteen and thinking, am I actually considered an adult now – surely not? Then I thought, once I turned twenty-one, then I would feel like an adult. But at twenty-one, I felt pretty much the same as I did when I was eighteen. So, surely once I had graduated university I would feel like an adult? Nope. Once I moved into my own house with James? Nope. Once I got a ‘proper’ full time 9-5 office job? Nope. 

Now, at twenty-five, fast approaching my twenty sixth birthday, I still don’t feel like a ‘real’ adult. Yes I have a house to look after, bills to pay and a cat to feed, but does that actually make me an adult? What defines being an adult anyway?

I still feel so young and un-prepared for the adulating world. I’m not ready for marriage or babies or a career, yet I am so painfully aware that at the age of twenty-five, a lot of people have the outlook that I should have at least one of these things, or at least be working towards one or all of them. However, I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I know I want to live in a bigger city, I know that I want to travel and I know that one day I want to settle down (whatever that means) and have a family. I guess I the fact that I am with someone who also wants all of these things helps in a lot of ways, which has allowed me to be confident in my mind set in achieving the goals that I want. 

Yet I feel like I still get a lot of pressure from society, parents, friends and work colleagues that are happy to put you in a box and make you feel as though you should be doing something else, or that what you’re currently doing isn’t right. I’m not even kidding the amount of people that say ‘it’ll be you next’ on the subject of marriage or babies is unreal…! 

 I will openly state that I am too selfish to have a family at the moment; and I don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. Does that make me less of an adult? Is being an adult being able to put the needs of something else first? Don’t get me wrong, I am not a selfish friend, sister, daughter or girlfriend, but I am in terms of motherhood. I like earning money; I like doing what I want. I enjoy sleeping in on my days off, drinking silly amounts of alcohol with friends, spontaneous trips away, going to gigs, movie marathons, long uninterrupted baths, basically doing what I want when I want. But does this make me less of an adult than some of my friends that have families or career commitments? 

It can be a little frustrating that because I’m not married, I don’t have a mortgage and I don’t plan on popping out a sprog anytime soon than I have to justify not having these things by being well on my way down the career path. Don’t even get me started on that mingled look of concern, confusion and disappointment when I explain to every tom dick and harry that no, I don’t have a job that involves using my degree…

So does this mean that I’m not an adult too? Recently I decided to work part time at my 9-5-office job and even this seemed to rub people up the wrong way. A lot of people that I talk to about it just don’t seem to understand why I’m not working ‘full-time’ and why I have chosen to take a pay cut. Even though, I do still work full time, (but justifying blogging as work is a whole different conversation…) I tend to get a lot of eye rolls and disbelief that I would want to break free from the safety net of a full time pay check. For me however, it seemed like the best thing to do. Since going part time at work I have more time that I can dedicate to doing something that I love and I am so much happier. To me this is worth so much more.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading about my rambles on becoming an adult. Ultimately I don’t think that we need labels and boxes in today’s society. To me anything goes and I just think that as long as you are happy then that is all that matters. So even though I don’t have plans for marriage or children, a mortgage or a ‘typical’ career path, does this make me any less of an adult? What is being an adult anyway? I support myself, I am independent and I am happy and I think that is what is important. 

I would love to hear your thoughts about adulthood and what it means to be an adult.

Also, how cute is this off the shoulder black shift dress from Tobi? It is perfect for summer evenings either on holiday abroad or here in the UK. It is so flattering and covers a multitude of sins!


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